• Andrew:

  Could you live with a woman who hits you?

• Bree:

  I slapped him once and he deserved it.

• Andrew:

  I just asked her to stop drinking.

• Bree's Father:

  You were drinking?

• Bree's Stepmother:

  She's in AA, her sponsor has long hair.

• Bree:

  Andrew, I find your concern ironic given how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbour's mother with your car.

• Bree's Stepmother:

  Is she OK?

• Bree:

  She's dead!

• Andrew:

  Well, mom watched as her boyfriend committed suicide, and he was the same guy who killed dad.

• Bree:

  Andrew falsely accused me of molestation, in a mall!

Best quote!

• Bree:

  Walter recently split up with his life partner Todd, they were gay!

• Orson:

  Small world, huh?

• Walter:

  How is it small, exactly?

• Bree:

  Andrew is also an out and proud homosexual

• Orson:

  He's here, he's queer and we're used to it!

• Andrew:

  ... Since when?